Negril was good for me.
So good that when folks ask me, “How was vacation?”, I find myself pausing for a bit to find the words. I can’t fully articulate the fullness of what it poured into me, into us.
I could look at it through the lens of tired parents who’ve never had a getaway alone. That, in and of itself, is a theme that all too many of us share. The burnout, the focus on family and work and realizing that you’ve lost a little bit of what brought you together in the first place.
But even that isn’t really the full story. You see, on top of all of that, I’ve just been feeling, and hearing, the call to be still. Which is difficult for someone who has lived their whole life on the shallow premise that accomplishments and accolades are the hallmarks of success. I measured my own value against the things that I had done or achieved and it was a never ending marathon I was running.
I chalked up the physical and emotional toll of that lonely race to byproducts of simply living life, not realizing that I was running straight into a brick wall.
It wasn’t long before my body said enough. I developed a chronic pain that made it physically unbearable to do certain things. Simple tasks like grocery shopping left me immobile on the couch afterwards. It was maddening that I couldn’t just get up and keep going, checking off whatever else was on my to do list. Then I began to see that I wasn’t pouring into my family like I should have been. My daughter complained that I didn’t spend any one on one time with her and who knows the last time my husband and I had spent time alone. I felt like I was drowning and pushing away my life preserver at the same time. Getting in my own way.
I was being selfish really which was a hard truth to face about myself.
So, I’ve been trying to slow it all down. Which is why I wanted to take the trip in the first place. Where else can you be easy but on a beach with an endless supply of rum punch?
Honestly, it’s a daily effort and maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve always been a high achiever and a go-getter. Slowing down means letting go of the standards I placed on myself and being more discerning with the things I do say yes to.
If you follow me on IG you may have noticed the subtle shift in my content. It’s a reflection of my current season of life. The slow season where I say no to more things, set boundaries in place and protect my peace.
Someone left a comment and said, “I am liking this Jamaica you!” and I chuckled.
I’m liking her too.
Thank you for this reminder to slow down and to go back to discovering joy in the company of those that truly hold the world together – family, our partners. Love it ❤️
This really speaks to me. I’m so happy for you that you got away.
Beautiful, Yami! I can really relate to your thoughts and feels. I’m so happy that you and your husband were able to get away to recharge and reconnect, I think we all forget how essential that can be to the core of our families.
So well said. I bought into the whole 80’s “super woman” thing back in the day. So proud that I “could do it ALL!” Who would love and praise me if I stopped?
I look back and realize that, younger, healthier, I suffered from pain, IBS, anxiety… maladies that slowly disappeared when I started saying “No”. When I started doing things I loved… I’m old, it took many years. Start now!!
This really spoke to ME. Thank you for the reminder 🙂
It’s only been a few years ago that I finally leaned to say no, and it feels so good!
Oh man thank you sharing a bit of your thoughts and life! I’ve been struggling extremely hard with the similar things
( along with wife & mom life ) and this is such a great reminder to slow down. Being still and rest is something God wants for us and I need to be reminded of that daily. I’m absolutely loving your shift in content and you’re very inspiring ( as always )!
Oh and I’m loving Jamaica Yami too!
[…] are headed back to Jamaica this month! Our last trip to Negril was amazing and we decided to bring the kids this time around so they can get a taste of the island. […]